Will Forte Prank Calls the National Audubon Society – Crank Yankers

[lively orchestral music][line trilling]– Thank you for calling
the National Audubon Society. This is Sarah.
How may I help you? – Hi, yes, my name’s Bob I actually had a question
for you about a bird. I have, a–do you know the Ring systems
for your doorbell? – Uh, yeah.
– I’ve noticed this– a bird outside my house
and it hovers near the Ring. So I have it on video,
and I’m able to describe it, but I can’t find it
for the life of me. And I’ve even searched through
my Audubons and just can’t figure it out. Thought you might
be able to help. – Okay.
– It’s got a purple crown. And a red breast,
but it then turns white. Now let me scroll through
my Ring here. Oh, no, he’s flying out
into the yard. Oh, there’s Rusty.
Rusty is–he’s my neighbor. Oh. Wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait. – Where are you located?
– Uh, yeah, no– I am just seeing something
on here that’s, uh,
throwing me for a– My wife has walked out,
and it looks like they’re, uh, sharing a kiss. Oh. Get back to this bird. So
the bird is flitting around– Oh, God. I’m so sorry.
They’re– They walked out of frame,
and they’re back in the frame. Some heavy kissing. – Well if you need to
go and deal with that, you can always
give us a call back. – Great, like, French kissing. Like, open mouth–
– Uh, yeah, well,
I’d be happy to help you
with the bird, but, yeah– – Yeah, so the bird is–
it’s–it’s– [sighs] almost like
an eastern bluebird. Uh, but–but not. – Um, is it possibly
a barn swallow? – I–I don’t think so. I’ve–I’ve seen my way
around a couple barn swallows, and I–oh, God,
I’m sorry. Hang on one second. I’m seeing another image
that’s hard to see. [sighs] I’m so sorry. – That’s okay. – [sobbing]
You just assume that your– I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry. I’ll keep this on the birds. – Take your time.
– Yeah, no– I don’t think
it’s a barn swallow. Maybe a titmouse. That’s always been
the weirdest name. ‘Cause it’s, like…
– Yeah.
– If anything,
if I was naming it, I’d call it a breastmouse,a more respectful name.
– [laughs] – Anyway, I don’t think
it’s a bird of prey, but it could be.
– I don’t know. Have you tried any of
the bird identification sites online?
– Oh, my God. There’s another–
I’m so sorry. There’s another person
coming in here. What in the heck
is going on here, Janine? Good God. Rusty’s gone now.
Now it’s my friend Jim.– You know, I’m–
– Oh, God. – It’s like,
when it rains it pours,you know?
– Yeah, yeah, no. I’m sorry to hear that.
– Oh. He’s wheelbarrowing her. God darn guy
is wheelbarrowing her. Clothes are on, nothing–
but it’s just, like, you know when something–
– Yeah, I understand, and I’m gonna have to
let you go, okay? – Well, I got good news,
and I got bad news. Uh, it is a blue eastern finch. But there are now five men. – Thanks for calling Audubon.♪ ♪[mystical music][line trilling]– Hi, this is Terry.
– Terry, I need to talk to somebody
who recently passed away. Can you help me?
– I can, yes. Uh-huh. – Oh, thank God. Thank you,
thank you, thank you, Terry. Look, my uncle,
he passed away, and he was handling, like,
all my finances and stuff. So he has, like, my ATM number,
and I don’t know none of that. So I need to
get in touch with him so he can give me
that information and get my money.
– Yeah. – Before his no-good kids
get they mitts on it. – Yeah, definitely. – Okay, his name
is Ronald Harper. – Okay. – He looks like
a old Jamie Foxx. – Oh, cool.
– Who drank too much. – [laughs] Drank too much. – Yeah. If you get
a whiff of gin, that’s him. – Yeah, he’s giving me a number
1217. – 1217. Okay, wait,
let me try that. Let me see if that works.
– Yeah. – Let me–let me see–
– If that doesn’t work, you’re just gonna have to
go with a bank. Get ’em to give you a new card
and a new PIN number. – 1217. Terry! I–I’m in! I’m in! You did it!
– [gasps] Oh, good. – It’s working.
– [laughs]
– Whoo! Okay.
– Good.
– And I got my money.
Oh, my God.Oh, my God.
I could cry.
Now, as him…
– Okay, wait. What is his HBO Go password? – Uhh–I’m trying. Yeah, hang on, I’m trying. Oh, it makes me yawn when
the spirit connects. [yawns] – You know, I would not be
surprised ’cause he was always–
he was such a boring man. – [yawns] Ah, is it “bananas”? – Bananas?
Let me try. Let me try that. – Okay. – Terry, I’m in! I’m in! – [laughing] Off you go. – Yahoo, you are two for two! Now I can catch up
on all my shows. Oh, my goodness.
– That’s wonderful. That is wonderful. – How do I pay you?
– Okay, you can go to Paypal, or you can read me your
debit card number right here and I can run it
through my machine. – I tell you what,
just look at my debit card. – [laughs] I don’t think I can do that.
– Can you do that? – I don’t think so.
Can you read it to me? – Oh, shit.
His wife just texted me. Oh, oh, uh-oh.
Wait a minute. She said the bank accounts
are empty. Oh, shit. Terry, she knows. She knows I’m cleaning him out.
– Oh. – Oh, my–Terry,
should I go to Cabo or Brazil? – Oh, Cabo.
Go to Cabo, yeah. – Okay, I’m off to Cabo.
– Okay. – Put a spell on her
real quick. Her name is Emma.
Get that bitch, Terry. I’ll wire you the money here.
I’m out. – Okay. All right.
Bye-bye. Adios.♪ ♪[shimmering tone]

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