THE HUMAN PIÑATA


Hello, everybody. My name is Markiplier, and welcome back to another Impossible Let’s Play. It’s been awhile but this one I like to call The Human Piñata. As you can see, I’m dangling in my favourite BDSM chair. And I just want to play a game while trying to…uh *grunts* Alright here’s the deal. I am gonna be hanging in this harness like a piñata. I have a wonderful birthday boy, I have a wonderful birthday boy whose birthday was not recently, it was January 25th, BUT, it’s recent enough Whose birthday was not recently, it was January 25th, BUT, it’s recent enough Tyler, get over here. Tyler, get over here. Tyler: Hi!
Mark: Hi. It’s not your birthday, but your birthday was in January, so… It’s not your birthday, but your birthday was in January, It’s a late birthday present Late birthday present You get to beat the shit out of me. How’s that feel? Tyler: I- I don’t know exactly how I feel about it?
Mark: Uh-huh. Tyler: I’m hitting you, and you’re my friend, but at the same time… Tyler: I’m hitting you, and you’re my friend, but at the same time… Tyler: I’m excited.
Mark: It’s always a little- It’s always a little cathartic. Tyler: [laughing] Yeah.
Mark: You’ve got this internal, like, I don’t know why I like it, but I like it! That’s what I think to myself every time I get in this rig! Alright, now, it wouldn’t be a piñata without candy, so I’ve got bags of candy… [assorted grunting] [laughing] Tyler, can you give me a hand here? Thank you. I’ve got bags of candy. Happy Easter, by the way, I think. And I’m going to stuff these in my… Tyler: [giggling] In… [Mark grunts] In my… hang on. This is a little compromising. I’m gonna stuff these in my shirt. Tyler, you wanna help stuff me? Tyler: Sure? [both laughing] Well, that’s the kind of friend I always wanted. Get yourself a friend that can stuff you whenever they want. Tyler: Here, we gotta get some in the backside too. Oh, yeah. Of course. Tyler: When you’re dangling we’ll put some in. . .[starts giggling] Mark: [laughing] Oh, fuck. All right, [grunts] I’m dangling. You know my… [laughing] [Mark struggles to put candy in his sleeve while making crying noises.] [Tyler laughs] [Mark groaning] Mark: imma stuff it right here. [candy falls and both of them begin to laugh again.] I made a- i made an accident. [Tyler laughs hysterically.] Tyler: There’s so much already on the floor. It”s fine, don’t worry about it. Quickly in the- in the gap. Quickly Tyler, shove it inside me! [laughs] Tyler: Something I’d never thought I’d hear from you. Aw, come on man. Alright, so next stop on the chopping block, is the game, wouldn’t be an Impossible Let’s Play without a game. Could I have the IPad please? So here’s how the challenge works, I’m gonna be trying to play this game. Tyler can hit me once every five seconds. He can also bank his hits and hit me whenever he wants. So long as it’s one every five seconds. And if I die, he gets to hit me as many times as he wants in five seconds. [Tyler cackles] Tyler: I like how you keep looking at me every time you said “five seconds”. Mark: It’s just like… Well, it’s just… I suddenly realize how dumb this idea is. Mark: but it’s all good. Alright, you ready? Tyler:Yeah.
Mark: oh jeez.
Tyler: You’re gonna have to move that. [laughs] oh, I’m sorry. Three, two, one, boop. Alright, I’m doing fine. [nervous laugh] I don’t like this. I feel so helpless all the sudden. I’m fine, I’m fine, I’m fine. Why–[Tyler hits Mark and he yells] [laughs] God [plastic bat noise] Oh God It doesn’t hurt, it’s just startling. I’m fine… [Mark continues to laugh] [Mark flinches and screams] [Mark laughs harder] Oh God I’m not even spilling any cand- Oh, there we go Alright, let’s try that again. Tyler: I guess I’ll just have to hit harder then.
Mark: Apparently I guess. Alright. OOF [laughs] [Dies] Oh, shit. [laughs] Why only my stomach? Why is it only my belly? [Inaudible nonsense] You can hit anywhere on… [Mark turns into a deflating balloon.] [various grunts and giggles] I’m doing great, by the way. Oh, my butt! [hit again] AHHHHA! I feel abused. [hit] Can you believe I asked for this? I don’t know what that is. I gotta keep this away from my- [groans] [again with the various giggles and grunts] I’m fine but I- STOP!!! That was definite- uh oh. [Mark dies. He laughs.] That was de- ahhh! That’s not fair, that was over the clock. Mark:[murmured] I’m gonna do it like this: block my under belly. You can’t hit my belly, if it’s down.
Tyler: Right in the face.
Mark: I’ll take it. [Mark randomly starts screaming and screams for awhile.] Tyler: That’s a satisfying sound. Mark: My arm candy. WHAT?! I wasn’t even-! That’s not fair I’m not even playing! Mark: That’s not the rules.
Tyler: I can’t see the game from back here. I’m not playing the game! 3, 2, 1. I got a respite from Tyler, he’s not here. Ow my butt! Oh my abs! Tyler: Oo nice, candy.
Mark: Oo candy. Why don’t you just take a break and- Ow, no, I died [mark yells random nonsense] OWWWWMYASSSS Alright, I’m doing something drastic. Okay, alright. I risk exposure of my… nether regions, but I think this is the tactic I need. [Random noises.] I died. [screams] [whining] This is a dumb idea. This is the stupidest idea I’ve ever had Tyler: This is a good Starburst. I can’t eat them, I’m doing the Keto thing. [laughs] I can’t- That’s the worst tragedy, I can’t even have this candy! Ugh, alright I’m gonna try- I’m gonna try the forward lean… starting [Tyler lifted himself up to see and Mark turned to look at him chewing] Mark: Hi, Tyler.
Tyler: Hi.
Mark: You having fun? Mark: I don’t know if it’s from here…
Tyler: I’ve got one like twenty saved up now too. Mark: NO! You can’t bank up when I’m not playing! Although I am playing now but that’s not how- [Mark panics] Oooowwwww….AHAHAHA… [shouting and whining.] That was too many! You didn’t bank ’em up. That was against the rules. I-I [sighs] You’re going in this harness next, mister… ow. You’re gonna get it once I get out of here. Once I grow up and I’m out of here, you’re dead meat. Ow, my dead meat. Tyler: OOO lot’s of candy. Mark: NOOOO… I was holding on to that. Oh no. Tyler: Are you gonna have some after your diet? Shouldn’t I have, like some reward, you know, for good performance? Tyler: You made the rules not me.
Mark: I don’t know man. Mark: I just- I come up with these- Tyler: I’m just trying to figure out how to get the candy out of your small chest pocket. You can’t get it out of my bulge. You’ll never- [laughs] you’ll never get it out of my bulge. [laughs again] You’ll never get it out of my bulge. AHHH, my bulge My bulge! Tyler: In your mouth. I don’t want it, I’m on Keto! I’m making it… NOOOOOOO! Tyler: There’s like a whole bunch right here. [laughs] Mark: Nooooo [Tyler laughs] [Random markimoo noises] [Random noises continue] Tyler: 2
Mark: I don’t like that count down. NO! Tyler: 3 [both laugh] I can’t end on that one. I can’t end on that! Oh I got a penguin, that’s nice. Oh, bullshit it’s never useful–[screams] [Makicrier has returned] I regret everything I’ve ever done in my life. I regret. You’ll never get my goiter candy. You’re never gonna get my thyroid candy. [laughs] Tyler: Your giant neck mint? It’s mine forever. Not now, not now, I’m doing so good- NOOOO! [Various grunts.] [Panting] I’m broken. I’m a broken man. [tiny gasp] no, don’t do it. No. Please. [laughs] Tyler: There’s little pouch. You’re never gonna get it. It’s mine forever. I AM THE MASTER OF THE CANDY! YOU SUCK DICK! I’M GONNA GET YOU WHEN I GET DOWN. Tyler: you have a guzzard. [laughs] YOU DON’T MAKE FUN OF MY GUZZARD! ONLY I MAKE FUN OF MY GUZZARD! Ugh, alright, that’s all for this Impossible Let’s Play. Thank you everybody so much for watching. If you want to see other Impossible Let’s Plays like this, let me know down in the comments below. If you have ideas for this, let me know as well. Thank you, Tyler for… actually, thank you for NOTHING at all. [laughs] But you can check out Tyler on Twitch, Apocalypto_12, and on Twitter, same name. Thank you everybody so much, and as always, I will see you in the next video BUH-BYE [whack] oof! [laughs as candy falls out of Mark’s shirt.] I’m gonna be picking candy out of myself for weeks. Tyler: You have any shoved in your belly button?
Mark: Oh you know it, baby. You know it, I always got a secret stash in my belly button. [screams, chuckles and coughs in that order.] [candy dropping and Mark’s harness jingling] GET IT OUT OF ME! GET IT OUT!! Tyler: The way it trickled out the back. It looked like you were pooping candy.
Mark: I’m gonna be pooping candy. Tyler: There’s one stuck right there. [laughs] Tyler: and there’s another one right here. [laugh] Tyler: Where’d that one come from? Dude, I don’t even know anymore. [laughs] There’s so much candy inside me. Wait, hang on. [laughs] Alright… see ya.

100 Comments

  1. Sydney Tsolas said:

    I JUST REALIZED ME AND TYLER HAVE THE SAME BIRTHDAY :O

    August 20, 2019
    Reply
  2. searlait finley said:

    Is Mark a masochist?

    August 22, 2019
    Reply
  3. Haylee Stidman said:

    U made my birthday much better THANK YOU

    August 22, 2019
    Reply
  4. Queen of Snek said:

    Kinky

    August 24, 2019
    Reply
  5. Misshowzat said:

    🍬🎵Candy man, candy man🎵🍬

    August 25, 2019
    Reply
  6. Keitronic said:

    5:53 I…. can see it
    this is so awkward

    August 25, 2019
    Reply
  7. Josh O’Connor said:

    I enjoy watching u suffer. That normal?

    August 31, 2019
    Reply
  8. luv, g said:

    I'm a little curious as to why the actual fuck Mark owns a BDSM chair

    September 1, 2019
    Reply
  9. BoulderGaming said:

    I wanna see mark do this again but with Bob and wade as well.

    September 1, 2019
    Reply
  10. Stefano Al Muktash said:

    content

    September 2, 2019
    Reply
  11. ra_mry said:

    1. In what state of mind did Mark have to be in to think this was a good idea?

    2. Did he just have the hanging stuff lying around in his home or did he purchase it just for this purpose?

    September 2, 2019
    Reply
  12. dani vanohr said:

    I love how he purposely waves his arms and legs around

    September 3, 2019
    Reply
  13. Mindless Character said:

    the hole beginning of this video was a little "StRaNgE"

    September 3, 2019
    Reply
  14. CAO RMofDufferin said:

    It looks like Mark’s pregnant! 😆 😆 😆

    September 3, 2019
    Reply
  15. CAO RMofDufferin said:

    It looks like Mark’s pregnant! 😂😂😂

    September 3, 2019
    Reply
  16. Artemis795 said:

    HOLY SHIT TYLER AND I HAVE THE SAME BIRTHDAY I'M DEAD

    September 3, 2019
    Reply
  17. Cecily Erker said:

    He bought and assembled a BDSM scaffold in his house with his YouTube millions and then strapped himself in for his family-friendly YouTube channel

    September 4, 2019
    Reply
  18. LucianSepticFlower 808 said:

    The camera view on 1:24 and 5:45 insert lenny face here

    September 10, 2019
    Reply
  19. SkiiAnnika said:

    these are the same people that sang Christmas songs half naked in the shower together.

    I'm not surprised in the slightest by anything said in this video

    September 11, 2019
    Reply
  20. Rishi Nair said:

    Boi that's not how Crossy road was meant to be played

    September 13, 2019
    Reply
  21. ultra_kitty_tuber_ 101 said:

    wait, is that ACTUALLY a BDSM chair?!

    September 14, 2019
    Reply
  22. Jay said:

    50 Shades of Tyler

    September 15, 2019
    Reply
  23. Idk what to put said:

    "As you can see, in hanging in my favourite BDSM chair."

    -Markiplier 2018

    September 15, 2019
    Reply
  24. Idk what to put said:

    They aren't gay, their manly. What's more manly than two men?

    September 15, 2019
    Reply
  25. Crack Shot Connor said:

    Kinky

    September 15, 2019
    Reply
  26. Racerrr TV said:

    Hey, it’s a sex swing

    September 16, 2019
    Reply
  27. Adam Howard said:

    I bet you can't play getting over it while eating hot peppers.

    September 18, 2019
    Reply
  28. ReactingToEverything_DoingEverything said:

    HAAHAAAAA

    September 22, 2019
    Reply
  29. Buddyboltgaming said:

    I kind of wish Tyler just left mark hanging there

    September 25, 2019
    Reply
  30. white jadin said:

    Mark does a lot of bits and goofs that just radiates faggetree however this is the gayest thing he's ever made

    September 25, 2019
    Reply
  31. Thexich YY said:

    Dude I want the links to all the stuff he used.

    September 26, 2019
    Reply
  32. Cameron Thayer O’Brien said:

    🎉🎊🎈🎁

    September 27, 2019
    Reply
  33. wolfy boy said:

    how did tyler manage to NOT hit mark in the crotch?!??? O.O!!

    September 29, 2019
    Reply
  34. Z3abiii said:

    nice vid 👌🏽

    September 29, 2019
    Reply
  35. fishlover 223 said:

    (candy spills out) i made an accident

    October 2, 2019
    Reply
  36. Daryissaplayz 231 said:

    Was I the only person who started wanting to eat candy?

    October 4, 2019
    Reply
  37. Emojigamer AJ said:

    When this deserves to be more of a fetish video than anything else o.o

    October 9, 2019
    Reply
  38. sammy cat said:

    and wait a minute we actually saw marks legs!? .O.

    October 10, 2019
    Reply
  39. A Person said:

    1:49 Mark was hitting the woah before it was cool

    October 11, 2019
    Reply
  40. Alexandra Cohen06 said:

    I laughed so hard during this video I fell out of my chair and couldn't breath.

    October 11, 2019
    Reply
  41. SweetPea 14 said:

    I have a feeling this is actually something Mark uses sexually. Just a thought

    October 15, 2019
    Reply
  42. Freja Falck Kristiansen said:

    Mark is like a human baby and … the other guy is like a brother 😂🤣🇩🇰

    October 16, 2019
    Reply
  43. The Frisk Files said:

    1:39 did no one hear mark moan?????

    October 16, 2019
    Reply
  44. RandomPawz said:

    This is what it’s like…

    To be disabled

    October 19, 2019
    Reply
  45. Çhłøè Gàçhà_Wèèb said:

    1:26 this looks
    Like the start of a porno

    October 19, 2019
    Reply
  46. chauni moo said:

    mark looks odly coumphy i wana do it

    October 21, 2019
    Reply
  47. Salindia Fox said:

    This has DEFINITELY been uploaded on pornhub

    October 22, 2019
    Reply
  48. Jaiden Juarez said:

    I feel Bad

    October 24, 2019
    Reply
  49. Howlie said:

    Lmao what would your past self say about this? XD

    October 24, 2019
    Reply
  50. Willow Wisp said:

    My mom has gone keto

    October 24, 2019
    Reply
  51. ItzMahBab_Cassiopiea OwO said:

    Im glad Ethan wasn't here to see this he's to precious

    October 24, 2019
    Reply
  52. NeoStarKat z said:

    Is that actually a bdsm harness? I looked at it and thought it must be some sort of exercise equipment.

    October 24, 2019
    Reply
  53. Athen Lazy Bum G R P said:

    Please for the love of God and I know this is like so late please put Ethan on that😂😂

    October 27, 2019
    Reply
  54. Jonathan Sarver said:

    I swear this just gets funnier and funnier.

    October 27, 2019
    Reply
  55. Sasha Barnes said:

    I have a feeling Mark actually enjoyed this.

    October 27, 2019
    Reply
  56. Sara Molnar said:

    Mark…. You are making your fans reaaaaaaaaaallyyy uncomfortable.

    October 28, 2019
    Reply
  57. Olivia Ojefua said:

    669 dislikes😂

    October 28, 2019
    Reply
  58. ßl·įňđ Þůþþėŧ said:

    This turned into a porno REAL fast. Section Two. BALL STRETCHER.

    October 28, 2019
    Reply
  59. LUC Bum said:

    Im one year in the future, bitch!

    October 29, 2019
    Reply
  60. Steam Dark63 said:

    When I heard the instructions I was like "is this a deleted scene from fifty shades of grey" 😂

    October 29, 2019
    Reply
  61. Laun Sallee said:

    this is just a dollar store scp 956

    October 29, 2019
    Reply
  62. weeabootrash 7 said:

    And thus, we learned that Mark and Tyler were always destined for an S&M relationship.

    October 30, 2019
    Reply
  63. XxMandatoryxX said:

    Room mates: Should we call the police?

    October 30, 2019
    Reply
  64. Phoenixm00n said:

    Is it wrong to be turned on by this?

    October 31, 2019
    Reply
  65. Jin's windshield laugh sounds like a window cleaner said:

    Mark looks like a giant baby and it's hilarious and I love it very much. 😂😂💜

    October 31, 2019
    Reply
  66. Julle Hycan said:

    “…every time I get in this rig.”

    Mark has a kink question mark?

    October 31, 2019
    Reply
  67. dungeon nightcore said:

    5:01
    Mark has a moment of realisation and starts screaming

    November 1, 2019
    Reply
  68. Max Aaron said:

    It was released on my birthday, so I will watch it on my birthday each year

    November 2, 2019
    Reply
  69. Rene R said:

    My Birthday Is January 26th 😀

    November 3, 2019
    Reply
  70. AJ Aesthetics said:

    So is mark basically a sadist?

    November 3, 2019
    Reply
  71. Conceicao4 said:

    Why is Youtube recommending me this at this hour of night…

    November 4, 2019
    Reply
  72. Poison Tipped Sword said:

    Tyler’s birthday is a day before mine! I mean I’m much younger, BUT STILL!
    Edit: Why is this the only thing that popped into mind and not the BDSM set up? 😂

    November 5, 2019
    Reply
  73. Sk8r Gamer said:

    These are my favorite videos made by Markiplier.

    November 6, 2019
    Reply
  74. Laura Colona said:

    Tyler we have the same birthday!!!!!!!!!!

    November 6, 2019
    Reply
  75. Fógeti said:

    Tyler is weirdly sexy

    November 8, 2019
    Reply
  76. Wolfy 101 said:

    I died of laughter as i watched this 😂

    November 9, 2019
    Reply
  77. Red_Hood41 ife said:

    im dying of laughter from this

    November 11, 2019
    Reply
  78. garythedds said:

    good lucky mark

    November 12, 2019
    Reply
  79. A said:

    9:43 When you make it back upstairs after raiding the candy stash.

    November 13, 2019
    Reply
  80. Slimey Annihilation said:

    I feel like this could be a new torture device instead of hitting people with plastic bat hit them with a aluminium bat😏

    I am just a little insane

    November 13, 2019
    Reply
  81. Dovah said:

    He had me interested within the first 15 seconds

    November 15, 2019
    Reply
  82. Korekiyo Shinguji said:

    Wait.

    every time he gets in the rig? Does that mean hes… Okay then…. I mean… What ever makes you happy?!

    November 16, 2019
    Reply
  83. I_think_I'm_adorable said:

    Lowkey getting major Unus Annus views from this

    November 18, 2019
    Reply
  84. Bandito Bear said:

    I have a feeling that's not a safety harness if ya know what I mean. I JUST RUINED YOUR CHILDHOOD!! HA!!

    2019?
    V

    November 18, 2019
    Reply
  85. Finny Brace said:

    1:56 compared the rock climbing bulge pic to this and youve got yourself a saturday night full of regrets

    November 19, 2019
    Reply
  86. jc crazy said:

    WTF LOOK 0:14 WTF

    November 20, 2019
    Reply
  87. Fast and Night furious said:

    7:43 should’ve been the thumbnail

    November 21, 2019
    Reply
  88. Madi Jade said:

    I think he's enjoying that swing too much, but i admit feeling supported in the air sounds fun

    November 22, 2019
    Reply
  89. lonewolf the GOD said:

    Mark you had a present

    November 23, 2019
    Reply
  90. Spencer Finley said:

    FWSB (Friends With Stuffing Benefits)

    November 23, 2019
    Reply
  91. Emily Durigan said:

    His birthday is the day before my birthday!

    November 24, 2019
    Reply
  92. Bionic Warrior said:

    Literally a bdsm game wtf 🤣

    November 24, 2019
    Reply
  93. daBetts said:

    I feel like Tyler enjoyed this a little too much 😂

    November 25, 2019
    Reply
  94. holymans said:

    New form of torture

    November 26, 2019
    Reply
  95. FREDDY FAZBEAR said:

    Mark:"Hey Tyler do you want to help stuff me ?"
    Tyler:"Sure"
    Mark:"Shove it inside me"

    November 26, 2019
    Reply
  96. Mazoz — said:

    Is that a sex swing

    November 26, 2019
    Reply
  97. GreatGaming 378 said:

    "Tyler, you wanna help stuff me?"
    "Quickly, Tyler! Shove it inside me!"

    November 26, 2019
    Reply
  98. A Person said:

    1:54 Mark was hitting the woah before it was cool

    November 27, 2019
    Reply
  99. my boy said:

    why does mark have a sex swing though

    November 28, 2019
    Reply
  100. Jetpack Blues said:

    Markiplier is basically a soft porn actor now

    November 28, 2019
    Reply

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