How to Make a Human Pot Pie


– Hey, guys this is Garf and today I’m going to show you how to make a fresh and easy human pot pie. First you’re gonna wanna take a pie tin. And I use about 500 potatoes, 300 carrots, about a 1000 peas, 10 pounds of salt, 10 pounds of pepper, and of course, your protein… (humans screaming) about five or six fresh humans. I found that using fresh meat
makes all the difference. There’s really no contest between frozen humans and these bad boys. These little guys came
from southern California, I climbed down from the clouds and ripped the roof
off an office building, and look how fresh they are! Almost constant futile attempts to escape. (inspirational, uplifting music) For the best flavor, you wanna keep these puny mortals alive. Go ahead and round a little bit– Oops, don’t be discouraged if they lose an arm or leg or two, it’s totally fine. Now let’s put it all together, (laughs) It is just that easy! – Don’t worry everyone, I got this. – Again, you probably want them alive at this point, but if any of them give you any extra trouble, just– this is a little gross, squeeze them until they die. (humans scream in agony) If you lost any arms or legs earlier, just throw them in now. It’ll be fine. (humans scream for mercy) Now just place it near a volcano, and wait about 40 minutes. And look at that. It’s beautiful! Notice how putting them in alive creates these sort of frozen in time horrified looks on the crust. Exquisite. And that’s it. Just a few easy steps and you’ll have your own human pot pie in no time. It’s just that easy. Click here to subscribe, and click here to see a fun way to spice up your golden egg omelets. – Hi it’s Zach from CollegeHumor, thanks for watching, you can click here to subscribe or you can click over here for something else fun. You can also click here if
you wanna feed me clicks! I like ’em. (biting noises) Mmm…clicks!

100 Comments

  1. CollegeHumor said:

    People said, "Don't let that giant make a cooking video for you! He's going to kill your cast members and put them in a nightmare pie!" And they were right.

    Food: the language of the mouth. Gods of Food, available now on DROPOUT! http://bit.ly/2YGpZ6K

    Don't live in CANADA, AUSTRALIA, NEW ZEALAND or the U.S.? Sign up here: https://bit.ly/2OiNNoP

    December 27, 2016
    Reply
  2. Songstress x said:

    This is actually really disturbing

    March 24, 2019
    Reply
  3. Kim Fontaine-Shaw said:

    Did anyone notice the illuminate in the pie?

    March 28, 2019
    Reply
  4. Burnt toast said:

    Were is how to make a steak

    March 28, 2019
    Reply
  5. Sammie Isn’t Real said:

    Making of

    Please

    March 29, 2019
    Reply
  6. clay womack said:

    Almost made me vegetarian.

    March 29, 2019
    Reply
  7. Rayna Falch said:

    Idk, grant might think it’s too oniony

    March 30, 2019
    Reply
  8. bình phạm said:

    the illuminati showed up on the crust of the pieeeeeeee!

    March 31, 2019
    Reply
  9. bình phạm said:

    at 2:00 watch ittt!

    March 31, 2019
    Reply
  10. Randomtwixy33 said:

    Watching this again I don’t think 1,000 peas is enough….what does 1,000 peas even look like? 🤔 what about 1,000,000 peas?!

    March 31, 2019
    Reply
  11. Bottom of the BookShelf said:

    This was my first College Humor video it's still great after like 2 years of watching ur content

    April 3, 2019
    Reply
  12. ramen.mp5 said:

    this was really helpful

    April 4, 2019
    Reply
  13. Potato Face said:

    Lucky grant, he got a quick death.

    April 4, 2019
    Reply
  14. Emily Norris said:

    Like the live squid eating trend

    April 6, 2019
    Reply
  15. joseph woody said:

    Why didn't they try eating through the top crust?

    April 9, 2019
    Reply
  16. Tateranator 17 said:

    I’m pretty morbid but this. This is pretty morbid

    April 10, 2019
    Reply
  17. AWKisbored said:

    Shouldn’t u cut them up like an apple pie

    And u didn’t even add any gravy

    That’s the grossest part

    April 12, 2019
    Reply
  18. SagePaint said:

    The promised Neverland in a nutshell

    April 13, 2019
    Reply
  19. William Lucente said:

    He didn’t use the salt and pepper…

    April 14, 2019
    Reply
  20. Jordan Ebert said:

    Go vegan guys

    April 15, 2019
    Reply
  21. The Lawl is the *LAWL* said:

    1:21 isn't he supposed to be crushed or something

    April 19, 2019
    Reply
  22. Zhyper said:

    That's disgusting

    You didn't put any salt and pepper

    April 23, 2019
    Reply
  23. Igotthis 3011 said:

    Is it Gouraf or Goraf

    April 25, 2019
    Reply
  24. Lite Amplified Inc. said:

    This is a good recipe, but the humans sometime try to escape.

    April 26, 2019
    Reply
  25. King Treedede said:

    Where is my human pot
    Shit I got scammed

    April 26, 2019
    Reply
  26. Sandra Bard said:

    I want to see him eat a slice of that pie

    April 28, 2019
    Reply
  27. Temmie lee said:

    what should i do if the humans try eating the food in the pie? i'm making dessert pie btw

    May 2, 2019
    Reply
  28. snarkbottom loof said:

    Oh my God ….holy shit ….I didn't know that collegehumor would be this dark

    May 2, 2019
    Reply
  29. ZhirawFN said:

    Chef Garf did very good today.

    May 3, 2019
    Reply
  30. Greenblood 52 said:

    This is probably the most disturbing video on youtube, Im gunna watch it again

    May 5, 2019
    Reply
  31. I don't really know anymore said:

    I could imagine this being a music video.

    May 11, 2019
    Reply
  32. Pixel Pudding said:

    I would recommend taking some melted butter or egg wash and brush that on top of the crust before baking. It adds a nice golden brown shine, and gives it some moisture. I also would recommend using a homemade crust and not a pillaged one.

    May 26, 2019
    Reply
  33. Chloe Lynch said:

    I’m I would’ve added a sauce…

    May 26, 2019
    Reply
  34. Knight Πsaid:

    Aren’t giants humans?

    May 28, 2019
    Reply
  35. Super Scales Animals said:

    We want more of these giant human things!! Please

    June 1, 2019
    Reply
  36. Christopher Donlan said:

    Quick question do mermaid taste like tilapia or salmon, this video needs a sequel.

    June 1, 2019
    Reply
  37. Nichole Dlp said:

    This was gruesome, I am disappointed in y’all. But nice vid

    June 3, 2019
    Reply
  38. Mixima101 said:

    Saw this while high and got freaked out.

    June 4, 2019
    Reply
  39. Peter & Eva Händig said:

    Finally, a video we can make use of

    June 6, 2019
    Reply
  40. Da Goat King said:

    I accidentally read this as “Cooking for Grants”

    June 11, 2019
    Reply
  41. Havanna Bunnyfluff said:

    MOIST humans

    June 11, 2019
    Reply
  42. Amanda .Z said:

    Im a bit disturbed

    June 14, 2019
    Reply
  43. Rea Yeet said:

    Gorf I gotta say, your nails are F E I R C E

    June 16, 2019
    Reply
  44. Madame Tigre Le Deuxieme said:

    This is disgusting.

    Did he seriously put RAW vegetables in the pie? They'd be all hard and undercooked if he didn't boil or steam them a little first!

    June 17, 2019
    Reply
  45. Alex Scavo said:

    I wish it was a giantess instead 😒

    June 25, 2019
    Reply
  46. Abigail B said:

    Wait? Grant isn’t a giant?

    June 26, 2019
    Reply
  47. Bitti YT said:

    If you told me this was made by PETA I would believe you

    June 28, 2019
    Reply
  48. Cynacist said:

    how did they make his hands look so big?!?? thinking emoji

    June 30, 2019
    Reply
  49. The blue box said:

    Disgusting…he didn't even wash his hands. Poor hygiene.

    July 1, 2019
    Reply
  50. Emma H. Dommere said:

    Shouldn't Grant be the giant?

    July 8, 2019
    Reply
  51. Boomspdool 99 said:

    Can't wait to try this recipe, thanks!

    July 9, 2019
    Reply
  52. NotGrant O'Brien said:

    Why am I always the one who dies?

    July 11, 2019
    Reply
  53. Marko Marijan said:

    I nead a part 2

    July 12, 2019
    Reply
  54. Ace Q said:

    I’d suggest shaving and de-clothing them first, then boiling them, it’s much healthier for your liver.

    July 15, 2019
    Reply
  55. Thomas Pastor said:

    Wow, being suffocated by bread. This must be Siobhan's worst nightmare.

    July 16, 2019
    Reply
  56. WEEB TRASH said:

    no seasoning for the humans?

    July 16, 2019
    Reply
  57. Tyrone Freezy said:

    i feel like collegehumor put wwaaaayyyy to many illuminati refs in their videos

    July 18, 2019
    Reply
  58. New Username said:

    Wait isn't he just a giant human?

    July 19, 2019
    Reply
  59. Scp-682 Hard-to-destroy Reptile said:

    Seems delicious

    July 22, 2019
    Reply
  60. Mr cool Da best said:

    What was the salt and pepper for?

    July 23, 2019
    Reply
  61. Super Sonic boi said:

    Jesus Freaking cries😦

    July 23, 2019
    Reply
  62. AS AD said:

    Wait you take them fresh?

    I keep them in boxes and feed them bread till they are fat and tender.

    July 24, 2019
    Reply
  63. maja roos said:

    What about, like, kids/toddlers should I use double the amount then? Or should I make cupcakes?

    July 26, 2019
    Reply
  64. Rex Tom said:

    giant man attack city and eats people

    July 27, 2019
    Reply
  65. Captain trash can S said:

    I often remove the glasses,clothes and most head hair. I just can’t do with the chewiness and crunch from that stuff so will my pot pie be the same?

    July 29, 2019
    Reply
  66. Jesse Goodnight said:

    When he puts them on the volcano u will hear one of them yell “Mommy”

    August 1, 2019
    Reply
  67. DonutCutie said:

    I agree—fresh human makes ALL the difference. However, for any giants attempting this, I suggest building a farm so you can consistently make these. Also, make sure to wash them before.

    August 2, 2019
    Reply
  68. Amatsu Kami Mikaboshi said:

    You should have done a golden egg wash to make the crust golden brown

    August 2, 2019
    Reply
  69. Ego Johnson said:

    Only a thousand peas huh?

    August 4, 2019
    Reply
  70. Jaden Halom said:

    I expected Grant to be the giant

    August 8, 2019
    Reply
  71. sarahx87 said:

    okayy

    August 11, 2019
    Reply
  72. Aditya Rawat said:

    why am I seeing this first time

    August 12, 2019
    Reply
  73. TheRealCognito C said:

    Make more recipes for giants videos plz

    August 13, 2019
    Reply
  74. craftyguns the pro kid said:

    Gordon ramsay:YOU ARE TERRİBLE AT COOKİNG THE
    MEAT İS TASTİNG LİKE CHİKEN
    THE FRUİT İS ROTTEN YOU SUCK AT COOKİNG

    August 14, 2019
    Reply
  75. craftyguns the pro kid said:

    Adam might ruin the pie

    August 14, 2019
    Reply
  76. craftyguns the pro kid said:

    The office building probably PETA HQ no one likes PETA

    August 14, 2019
    Reply
  77. Paul Beaman said:

    Mr. Gaint
    I want to be be cook in one of your human pot pie

    August 18, 2019
    Reply
  78. Vurse said:

    Honestly I would LOVE to see more cooking for giants videos.

    August 26, 2019
    Reply
  79. Okeirany said:

    Is it bad that this makes me a little sad?

    August 31, 2019
    Reply
  80. BJPE said:

    bro this is so dry tho… where's the stock?? hello???

    September 1, 2019
    Reply
  81. Hey it's Mittiw said:

    Gorf, I can not thank you enough. I’m new to the cooking scene and you have greatly helped me!
    One thing though, I think that you should put warnings to use glass bowls in your videos.
    My plastic monk ruined my volcano, first time I had actually used it. The new one was expensive but the little bits of the human pot pie that I could scrape up were delicious. That you gorf for showing giants how to cook delicious meals

    September 1, 2019
    Reply
  82. CJ Dziesiuta said:

    Delicuous

    September 5, 2019
    Reply
  83. Beardless Dwarf said:

    anybody ever read Chronicles of Narnia: The Silver Chair? this is basically the actual prep associated with that recipe for man pies in the giant cook book they found in the story.

    September 13, 2019
    Reply
  84. CanadianKirby said:

    Wtf is wrong with you

    You gotta remove the shells first you know that fabric is horrible for your health

    September 20, 2019
    Reply
  85. Claudia Duran said:

    **Vegans have entered the chat

    September 21, 2019
    Reply
  86. Thelectricgirl said:

    It's kinda weird. Like, I usually peel off the skins before I eat my humans, and he's eating them with skins AND clothes! It's a bold choice.

    September 22, 2019
    Reply
  87. Cameron Gellineau said:

    First off, that is not enough humans

    September 24, 2019
    Reply
  88. KingdomOfFandoms said:

    This is fucking dark

    September 24, 2019
    Reply
  89. Rage slayer Realm said:

    When’s the golden omelette video

    September 30, 2019
    Reply
  90. Helpy The helper said:

    If you want the humans to NOT escape make the second crust a bit higher since when I saw them try to escape while they were getting cooked they could have pulled down the crust and climb out….

    October 1, 2019
    Reply
  91. Mica DragonHeart said:

    My favorite part is imagining them laying on a green screen freaking out

    October 6, 2019
    Reply
  92. Miguel Bautista said:

    I can see that Illuminati sign on the pie

    October 20, 2019
    Reply
  93. de tnters said:

    You took 6 I don't like too much

    October 31, 2019
    Reply
  94. Emily Belkowitz said:

    This has always been one of my favorites. Wish it was a series

    November 4, 2019
    Reply
  95. Timtim Ellis said:

    Is there a low-sodium option

    November 8, 2019
    Reply
  96. Robyn Brown said:

    I thought the title said “cooking for Grants” and, honestly, the video still fits

    November 8, 2019
    Reply
  97. weswes1st said:

    I hate the 6 people that dislikes after it already had 690 😤

    November 23, 2019
    Reply
  98. weswes1st said:

    He made me buy 10 lbs of salt and pepper without telling me how to use it but at least those people weren't waisted

    November 23, 2019
    Reply
  99. Lord W said:

    I’m sure it’s amazing but I usually mash my humans up like to even out them

    November 25, 2019
    Reply
  100. Molten Fredbear said:

    [Insert Attack On Titan reference here]

    November 26, 2019
    Reply

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