Blythe Baird – “The Aesthetic of Rape Culture”


That boy wants you to come over
to Netflix and chill even though you know
that boy’s personal agenda involves neither Netflix nor chill. That boy wants to communicate with you exclusively via Tinder or Snapchat chat. That boy wants to play Truth or Dare. That boy wants you to pick Dare. Now that boy wants to play
Twenty Questions. He is furious when he does not
receive a reply, because that boy believes… because that boy believes
his loneliness is your responsibility. You tell that boy you’re doing homework, so he sends you a stream
of unsolicited dick pics and says, “Ha, ha, then what?” winky face. That boy knows that
the winky face is crucial. That boy won’t waste a single opportunity
to request nudes. You could tell that boy your hamster died, and he’d be all, “Ah, babe,
send me a naked pic of you pouting.” That boy makes you sit in polite silence and watch him play video games. That boy calls you everything
but your name. That boy doesn’t give a fuck
about the best part of your day. That boy hates how you look in that dress. That boy barks at you
in the middle of Target because he doesn’t get the point
of high-waisted shorts. That boy wants you
to stop wearing lipstick. That boy says you look like a pale clown. You stop wearing lipstick. You tell yourself you didn’t even
like lipstick that much anyways. That boy makes you feel smaller every day. That boy wants you to have another shot. That boy thinks you’re,
“so pretty when you’re fucked up.” That boy mistakes your alcohol poisoning
for a perfect opportunity. That boy pretends not to notice
the way your head swings up and down like a limp bird with a broken neck. The word “no” is not
in that boy’s vocabulary. That boy is most in love with you when you are drunk, or silent, or both. That boy leaves handprint-shaped bruises to bloom like bellflowers up your thighs. That boy blocks the door, yanks your arm like a leash when you question him
in front of his friends, makes you apologize
to the back of his hand. That boy pushes you against the wall as if pinning the wings
of a dead moth to cork. That boy presses your voice like a crushed tulip
between the pages of his temper. That boy is finally pleased with you. I’m thinking about the relationship between that boy and rape culture. That boy seems to have
a lot in common with a predator. That boy would never
call himself a predator. That boy would never
call himself a rapist. He thinks those are strong words. He likes to think of himself as ambitious. That boy found so much
empowerment in rape culture that it became his identity, it became a socially acceptable aesthetic. Suddenly it is clear
that that boy is nothing but the reason you didn’t get home safe, the reason you spent more time
in the Title IX office last year than you did in class. I remember when I asked him, “Why do you get to call it a mistake
instead of call it rape?” He looked right at me, and said, “That’s bro code, baby.” I remember when he asked me,
“Why are you so afraid of everything?” And all I could think of
is what a privilege it is to be annoyed instead of afraid. (cheers and applause)

100 Comments

  1. Mary Rojas said:

    ♥️💥💥💯

    February 2, 2020
    Reply
  2. dru said:

    YES ANOTHER BLYTHE POEM YAYAYAYYAYA!!!! 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

    February 2, 2020
    Reply
  3. g.abbi.e said:

    🖤

    February 2, 2020
    Reply
  4. Kaitlyn Johnson said:

    Love her ❤

    February 2, 2020
    Reply
  5. starving klown said:

    i love blythe so much <3

    February 2, 2020
    Reply
  6. Lemon piee said:

    Blythe is so amazing

    February 2, 2020
    Reply
  7. Mariah Skelly said:

    I love Blythe’s poems ❤️

    February 2, 2020
    Reply
  8. ________holly said:

    😢

    February 2, 2020
    Reply
  9. Samantha Clay said:

    wait i didn’t know why there was no likes then i realized it was posted not that long ago lmao

    February 2, 2020
    Reply
  10. Person Person said:

    Only subscribed for Blythe x

    February 2, 2020
    Reply
  11. RainbowSketches said:

    Blythe has the best and most hard-hitting poems. 10/10

    February 2, 2020
    Reply
  12. Dimi Ferreira said:

    "That boy is nothing but the reason you didnt get home safe"

    February 2, 2020
    Reply
  13. Mel Mel said:

    I didn't know people still did Netflix and chill.That boy belongs in jail or worse, rape culture is more serious than people care to admit,important subject matter and thank you for being brave enough to share this awesome and thought provoking poem.

    February 2, 2020
    Reply
  14. Dana T. said:

    Just one line in and I love this poem.
    Edit: the last line hits like a brick wall "What a privilege it is to be annoyed instead of afraid" feels like it brings back memories I wish I didn't have.

    February 2, 2020
    Reply
  15. IMANI said:

    I hate that I understand and feel this poem so well

    February 2, 2020
    Reply
  16. 4am Curiosity said:

    that boy calls you everything but your name

    February 2, 2020
    Reply
  17. Luke Gelpen said:

    That boy is one bad nail out of a box of 1000. People like that are not as common as people think. Men aren’t bad, I promise.

    February 2, 2020
    Reply
  18. Luna Cross said:

    Ion know if it’s cuz I live in a very woke city but “rape culture” just doesn’t exist where I’m at. No one popular (I’m still in high school) does any of those things and the people who do are not liked for a reason.

    February 2, 2020
    Reply
  19. Ellen 27 said:

    That boy knows that the winky face is crucial
    Seriously though, this is so sad…

    February 2, 2020
    Reply
  20. Leah Wilton said:

    I feel like I've heard this poem before but like… changed? Anybody else?

    February 2, 2020
    Reply
  21. - euphoria - said:

    Blythe inspires me so much! She’s well spoken and beautiful 🥰

    February 2, 2020
    Reply
  22. Thoughts of a Tween said:

    This lady is such a good poet

    February 3, 2020
    Reply
  23. Alyssa Nering said:

    0:29 this is actually me I wouldn’t be able to speak straight like actually I make weird noises like “blehHH”

    February 3, 2020
    Reply
  24. Jessica Rosa said:

    yasssss its back!!!

    February 3, 2020
    Reply
  25. Wire Dayan said:

    This is so real… just remembered my highschool boyfriend, ten years later and i still have very bad trust issues

    February 3, 2020
    Reply
  26. Katy M said:

    I love her poetry. So much.

    February 3, 2020
    Reply
  27. Camila Valeria said:

    That boy doesn’t give a fuck about the best part of your day

    February 3, 2020
    Reply
  28. Logan Pattyson said:

    “…what a privilege it is to be annoyed instead of afraid”

    February 3, 2020
    Reply
  29. Kayla Brunton said:

    Your my literal hero Blythe 🖤
    Never stop writing I Stg

    February 3, 2020
    Reply
  30. AJFes12 said:

    im sorry this was beautiful but

    all i see when she says "dat boi" was that green frog on a unicycle meme dat boi, tomska and friends you have ruined me

    February 3, 2020
    Reply
  31. Ali Anderson said:

    💜

    February 3, 2020
    Reply
  32. Emily Lo said:

    Just got Blythe's book. did not regret it!!

    February 3, 2020
    Reply
  33. A. Anfaani said:

    That boy asked me out to dinner and said he didn't want his wife to wear lipstick. He called for a second date and got told off.

    February 3, 2020
    Reply
  34. Piyali RB said:

    I sense the calm rage, slowly simmering and getting stronger ❤❤👏👏

    February 3, 2020
    Reply
  35. Eli said:

    damn…she did that. I got chills.

    February 3, 2020
    Reply
  36. DevonnyX said:

    Get yourself a real man

    February 3, 2020
    Reply
  37. Melissa Bruton said:

    “why do you get to call it a mistake instead of a rape”

    February 3, 2020
    Reply
  38. Maryam Bangura said:

    Should have blocked that boy, kicked that boy in the dick. That boy would have sent me $50 to get nothing back

    February 3, 2020
    Reply
  39. princessdai said:

    Last line spoke volume

    February 3, 2020
    Reply
  40. Nonjabulo Malinga said:

    "What a privilege it is to be annoyed instead of being afraid" crush my heart into a million ice crystals

    February 3, 2020
    Reply
  41. Scott Holt said:

    Is she pregnant?

    February 3, 2020
    Reply
  42. little llama said:

    Dat Boi

    February 3, 2020
    Reply
  43. precious oluwole said:

    This is literally everything

    February 3, 2020
    Reply
  44. Write On said:

    God, this is amazing. It's sad how true this all is though and it's just ignored and socially acceptable for shitty people to do shitty things because hey, it's "normal".

    February 3, 2020
    Reply
  45. Ravenclaw running on tea said:

    "Because that boy believes his loneliness is your responsibility"

    February 3, 2020
    Reply
  46. Alberto Orte Rivera said:

    Holy cow! I (cis hetero white man) was feeling annoyed the whole poem and I was feeling there was something unfair in there, in me feeling annoyed, but I couldn't explain it (because I think of myself as a true feminist; well I do). Hey! I try not to use my power position! and some women use their power positions over me! Thats anoying! but… but well… but they… but… And then it comes: “…what a privilege it is to be annoyed instead of afraid”

    February 3, 2020
    Reply
  47. maleah erwin said:

    @hunter

    February 4, 2020
    Reply
  48. Hannah Graham said:

    You tell yourself that you didn't like lipstick that much anyway. Now THAT ONE hurt. That one hit a different part of me.

    February 4, 2020
    Reply
  49. Freddie said:

    1:35–1:54 hit so hard I don't even know how to cope with it. Rape culture is disgusting. honestly..

    February 4, 2020
    Reply
  50. Kitty Grimm said:

    That boy reminds me of my abuser.

    February 4, 2020
    Reply
  51. Laura Queiróz said:

    I love her

    February 4, 2020
    Reply
  52. Ana-Gertrudes Gonzalvez said:

    Replaying poems like this everyday until men finally understand why these seemingly tiny things are not okay, how they all build up to something so much bigger, death by a million tiny cuts again and again. The number of women I know personally who have been raped, molested, or sexuallt abused by men (and some women) is too fucking high. One is too high. 7, 8, 9, everyone has a story…and that's not even counting their moms and sisters, and the people who can't stand to be women anymore because of the implications of what that could mean. It's too fucking high.

    February 4, 2020
    Reply
  53. Ana-Gertrudes Gonzalvez said:

    I love Blythe's poetry and have missed hearing from her. This is amazing. Will surely have a found place in my heart decades from now, much like her other poetry.

    February 4, 2020
    Reply
  54. Artistryby Burde said:

    Damn I relate to this so much. Thank u

    February 4, 2020
    Reply
  55. Chris F T P said:

    👏

    February 4, 2020
    Reply
  56. Coshlemp said:

    Can we please stop acting like guys are the only ones who do this

    February 4, 2020
    Reply
  57. Tanika Long said:

    I feel this:////

    February 4, 2020
    Reply
  58. Maree Ault said:

    A poem by Blythe, the perfect 21st birthday present ❤

    February 5, 2020
    Reply
  59. Ailisha Sher said:

    Damn. ✨

    February 5, 2020
    Reply
  60. Tortoiseshell The Cat said:

    The final line made me cry.

    February 5, 2020
    Reply
  61. Briana Jackson said:

    I love her voice

    February 5, 2020
    Reply
  62. Love Yourself said:

    “What a PRIVILEGE it is to be annoyed instead of afraid.”
    Yeah, that one hit too close to home.

    February 5, 2020
    Reply
  63. Anna Loo said:

    So powerful xx

    February 5, 2020
    Reply
  64. Andre Esters said:

    "What a privilege it is to be annoyed instead of affraid"
    👏👏👏

    February 5, 2020
    Reply
  65. Salsabeel Dabbagh said:

    I cried watching this. I love you❤️🥺😭

    February 5, 2020
    Reply
  66. C Bryce said:

    Articulated incredibly well. Wow. Amazing! Thank you!

    February 5, 2020
    Reply
  67. cinnabun bean said:

    It’s sad to think that I could have been in her place. Rape culture is wrong. And I am glad that people are coming forward and talking about it because potentially, much like myself, someone will see the signs before it’s too late.

    February 5, 2020
    Reply
  68. icant•saveus said:

    WHY DOES YOUTUBE KEEP CHANGING THE WAY THE COMMENTS LOOK

    ALSO I love this

    February 6, 2020
    Reply
  69. chiedza madzima said:

    😉

    February 6, 2020
    Reply
  70. Noëlle Joy Strobridge said:

    Can’t pay attention,
    got nipple attention deficit disorder

    February 6, 2020
    Reply
  71. Giordano Bruno said:

    Sexual assault is funny. In our society, sexual assault is comedy gold. We will start taking sexual assault seriously when we stop laughing at it.

    Now kick that boy in the nuts so we can all laugh at him.

    February 6, 2020
    Reply
  72. Chloe Blankenship said:

    I fucking love Blythe! 👏🏾👏🏾

    February 6, 2020
    Reply
  73. Yoongi Trash said:

    Rape culture isn't real, change my mind

    February 7, 2020
    Reply
  74. Lindsey Foreman said:

    How could anyone give this a dislike??

    February 8, 2020
    Reply
  75. Eva Abdul-Rahim said:

    I wanna know why people disliked this

    February 8, 2020
    Reply
  76. Akram T said:

    That boy show your fake equality feminism that boy show your metoo double standard and hypocrisy

    February 8, 2020
    Reply
  77. Akram T said:

    I see here female incel

    February 8, 2020
    Reply
  78. Phoenix Rose said:

    I feel then to hard… my s.o. rapped me for 3months. He has stop recently and I'm trying to get out but it's hard

    February 8, 2020
    Reply
  79. insanity love said:

    This is so stupid

    February 9, 2020
    Reply
  80. Angel Morton said:

    Rape culture is a myth change my mind

    February 9, 2020
    Reply
  81. Gordan Ramsey's Lamb Sauce said:

    This really hits my genophobia deep

    February 9, 2020
    Reply
  82. r o s e said:

    this one should be on her spotify!!

    February 10, 2020
    Reply
  83. Liv Carter said:

    The pain and emotion in her voice is uncanny, poets like these make me want to pursue my passion of poetry even more.

    February 11, 2020
    Reply
  84. Depressed Papaya said:

    Powerful

    February 11, 2020
    Reply
  85. Tihyler Green said:

    And I will never be that boy, But I was used by that boy.

    February 11, 2020
    Reply
  86. Myah Vincent said:

    I think…I think she was cold

    February 12, 2020
    Reply
  87. Tirsit Endeshaw said:

    The relationship b/n that boy and rape culture. ……. well said Blythe Baird. Thanks you so much

    February 12, 2020
    Reply
  88. Miranda Yakel said:

    The 51 dislikes are probably the boys that do this🤷🏻‍♀️

    February 13, 2020
    Reply
  89. Ashland Brooke said:

    "That boy calls you everything but your name, that boy doesn't give a fuck about the best part of your day"

    February 13, 2020
    Reply
  90. Takara Thomas said:

    Blythe is an actual angel

    February 14, 2020
    Reply
  91. pratik gupta said:

    Rips through the heart💔

    February 16, 2020
    Reply
  92. Jjanjjangmaen said:

    Oh that is.. oof my ex made that "mistake"… called it a mistake, said I was overreacting a bit.. oh fuck

    February 16, 2020
    Reply
  93. I Philosophfei said:

    I find it funny though that NO GIRL WANTS TO BE USED FOR SEX but uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh none want to be used for love? IRONY!!

    February 17, 2020
    Reply
  94. spill the tae said:

    didn’t blythe do the when the fat girl gets skinny? her words always captivate me

    February 21, 2020
    Reply
  95. Purple Denied said:

    "What a privilege it is, to be annoyed instead of *afraid*."

    This just about made me break down due to how much I can relate to it. . .

    February 22, 2020
    Reply
  96. Annastasya Patterson said:

    When I see her. I already know that she’s about to bring the HEAT!!. Love her work

    February 22, 2020
    Reply
  97. Amber Lynn2478 said:

    🤕✌🏻

    February 23, 2020
    Reply
  98. I Am Me said:

    When they get annoyed because you jump at even expected noises. When you cringe away from a movement that was just a little too fast. Barely make it to the toilet after smelling that one scent
    Using up all the hot water because someone accidentally touched you the same way. Eyes watering because their voice gets just a little too loud or just that tone..yeah you know the "tone"
    Fighting the urge to self-harm because they said it wasn't abuse…it wasn't sexual…it was all in your head. The looks of disbelief when you say your abuser was your mother.. their response is "Oh but you're a girl". But it's your mother!!! You can't cut off your mother. Be a good southern girl and just say sorry for being such a problem she didn't have to raise you. Suck it up!! You have no reason to be crying, you need to be grateful she even had you. It doesn't matter that you claim she dumped boiling water on you, she's a good woman..an outstanding member of the community…why should we believe you when you're obviously mentally unstable. They laugh because a woman can't be a rapist. A sweet nurse who takes care of people couldn't abuse her "problem child" it's just discipline. So you walk softer, curl into yourself so that you look smaller, your hands shake at the smallest sign of confrontation as your brain screams to be ready for the pain that hasn't come in years. The pain you should be past now..the pain that still wakes you up screaming at night begging for forgiveness for being a problem child with empty promises to do better, to be quieter, to be smaller, to sit still longer, to shrink and shrink until you are no longer that problematic autistic child until you are nothing but faded background noise.

    February 23, 2020
    Reply
  99. Lila Kindall said:

    i wrote a poem in my english class called "innocent until proven rapist" cuz stuff like this and feminism is important and a big thing in my life but my female teacher was super weird abt it :((

    February 23, 2020
    Reply
  100. Meruem IsrareaLIGHT said:

    this is beautiful

    February 27, 2020
    Reply

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